Why me?

In my last post I ended with this comment: But there are others who seem to have everything and get it almost miraculously. We sometimes ask what about me? Why is that guy doing so well and is so rich while bust a gut working for chump change and am not getting anywhere?

Today I will address this kind of question. There are actually many different forms for this question. There tends to be many answers as well. Most often this kind of question is asked by people who are struggling, rather than those who are doing well. That is no big surprise. There is an old saying that "money can;t buy happiness, but it sure makes being miserable a lot more comfortable.

I will spend the next few posts looking at this subject from several angles. Today, I want to talk to the idea that we are responsible for our place in life. Now that concept covers a broad range. On the one hand, some teachers limit the responsibility to how we feel about our situation. For example, how we feel about being laid off, they say, is entirely in our hands. We can be angry, acceptant, stressed out, etc. But whatever, we feel, we choose to feel.

There is a lot of truth in that idea. We suffer not because of what happens to us externally, but how we choose to process it internally. Now, keep in mind, that being upset at losing a job can indeed be stressful and feeling nervous and anxious is perfectly normal. However, how we feel and ultimately deal with situations will help move us through the world. We may be constantly bitter and angry at all of the stuff we have to put up with. Such bitterness creates an aura around us. It affects how we see the world and how we see others. It can turn us into victims. Feeling helpless in a sea of troubles. That affects how we respond and ultimately how much we enjoy life.

We all have" troubles" that is, situations that appear difficult for us. Yet, we can deal with them in a positive manner too. In that way, we can move past them with a minimum of suffering.

Doing that can put us in charge of our lives. It can turn us from a helpless victim into a problem solver.

So, the next time a "problem" shows up on your doorstep resolve to work it out in an enlightened manner and you may find it to be much less of a problem that it first appeared.

The next time, I will discuss a more radical version of the "responsibility" theory, which says we are responsible for everything that happens to us. We are also responsible for who we are because we chose our lives before we were born.

Till next time then,

MrT