How to handle what comes your way

As I said in my last post, we are responsible for how we handle what comes to us in life.

All too often, when something bad happens to us, we brush off our response because we rationalize that it was not our fault, or that it was all preordained, or that there is nothing we can do about it, or it is a lesson sent of us to learn or it is the "will of god".

There is even a prayer to help us deal with life: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change those I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".

On one level, that is very good advice. The most important part of that prayer, however, is the part about the wisdom to know the difference.

Such actions and crutches are fine or people who are not on a path. They live from event to event, sometimes happy, sometimes sad but never feeling like they have any command over their lives.

People on a path, however, understand that they are in control. Although sometimes, they don't always believe it. For some of them, there is quiet acceptance of whatever happens to them. For others there is a sense of adventure. What happens next, what new thing can experience.

Enlightened people, though do none of that. They understand that life moves and that they move through life. It does not matter to them what happens, although, they are prepared to act in accord with any situation. They spend their time mostly in peace. Living in the moment.

Now, this does not mean that enlightened people don't have emotions. They do. And they use them. The difference is that the enlightened know that they are not their emotions. Emotions arise, they experience them and then move on. They can also daydream. Enjoying a day dream at some time is part of the here and now.

That is the key. Experience everything; but don't cling. don;t shy away from emotions because you are supposed to be at "peace with everything". Stifling an emotion is worse than experiencing it. you are supposed to experience your emotions.

As you move through your day, focus on what you are doing. Feel it, experience it in its entirety and then move on. ENjoy life whenever you can. Take time to feel life. When you eat, eat. When you sleep, sleep and when you work, work.

Only then will you find true serenity.

MrT

The trap of Doing nothing part 2

In my last post I talked about the paradox of "doing nothing". The idea is that we must surrender to the tao (the universe, god, the force or whatever you wish to call it) if we are to be at peace, or to gain understanding, or to reduce our problems, etc.

As I said in the last pose, however, surrendering, does not necessarily mean "not doing". On the contrary, the Tao requires us to act. The idea that we can-or should- simply sit back and let our lives just happen is simply wrong. The story from the last post is an example of that. In the story the may is seen bobbing in the river happily letting the river take him where ever the river wants to take him. The idea being that the river knows where it is going and will take the man where he is supposed to be.

The problem with that kind of thinking is that the tao (universe, force) has no mind. Contrary to popular belief, it has no plan for you or me. Rather, it is an energy that can be used to make things happen. Going back to the man in the river, the river has no mind to carry the man. It flows in a direction. It is up to the man to use the river to get to a destination. Now, here is where it gets complicated. You see, desire does not fit into the flow of the tao. Yet, it does. To say one must be desire-less is somewhat disingenuous. THat is because as humans, we have real needs. We need food,water, air, protection from the elements, etc. So, does wanting these things put us at odds with the tao? Not exactly. First of all, obtaining needs is in conformance with the tao. All creatures in nature survive by going out and getting what they need. So acting to provide food, clothing and shelter is in accordance with the Tao.

The problem arises when we seek to obtain things that we do not have the internal power to have. This causes strife, frustration and suffering. Also, when we desire something sooner than is possible for us to have it, we suffer.

Acting in accord with the tao takes awareness. Awareness of your needs, an awareness of the timing for when we need those needs. It also requires an openness and a readiness to act when the tao delivers what we need to us.

Many people suffer because they do not see the new opportunities open to them. They so not comprehend that it is time to move on. Staying in a job, a relationship or a place after it has given us what we need can cause problems. When the universe wants us to move to the next place we are supposed to be, and we don't recognize it, the suffering we experience may be be seen as a message to move on. Thus, we suffer.

This is an example of just "going with the flow" like the man in the river. Some see the suffering as some kind of lesson and allow it to continue because they assume that is acting in accord with the universe, even though it is the opposite.

I think it is clear that knowing how and when to act is difficult. It is not as simple as just letting things happen. It is also not blindly setting goals and launching ventures that come to nothing and leave us frustrated and burned out.

Learning how to read the universe is part of the training that one undergoes. It is part of the process. Some people never learn (or at least learn very slowly). For them, life can be a struggle from beginning to end.

But there are others who seem to have everything and get it almost miraculously. We sometimes ask what about me? Why is that guy doing so well and is so rich while bust a gut working for chump change and am not getting anywhere?

I will discuss that situation next.

Mrt